Another skill test down.
Cannot say how relieving a circle around pass is.
Worn out. Trying not to be Sick. And Happy.
God's grace is sufficient even in my weakness.
Tuesday, October 29, 2013
Monday, October 21, 2013
Today is a Gift
I like to plan. I like to know what's coming ahead to think about the days after school. But the simple and beautiful truth is that I have no idea. The blessing is that it teaches me to depend upon the One who does know and does see what I cannot, and it also helps me to focus on the present.
Life is often like a race. Today that race is preparing for exams. Pharmacology and physical exams. Fun stuff!
In the midst of that I must learn to recognize grace, recognize the gift of being able to learn, the gift of today...not looking forward to a future work, but embracing the life that God has given me now.
Life is often like a race. Today that race is preparing for exams. Pharmacology and physical exams. Fun stuff!
In the midst of that I must learn to recognize grace, recognize the gift of being able to learn, the gift of today...not looking forward to a future work, but embracing the life that God has given me now.
Thursday, October 17, 2013
Just a Blip on Nursing School
I laughed almost the whole drive home today though it was just me in the car. That's how it goes after an all day GI lab;)
I have the most fantastic instructors.
And, I learn alot from a scenario that I think is real.
I have the most fantastic instructors.
And, I learn alot from a scenario that I think is real.
I Got a Text ...
...A Happy Birthday text from Africa this week. Thank you, Memere! I love you too. (I hope you will see this soon;)
Sunday, October 13, 2013
This is a Comment...
...that wouldn't fit in a comment box.
Because saying a sister is a gift is too generic.
She's one of heaven's BEST gifts.
Bri, I'm ever so thankful for every mountain climbed with you, for every moment that you would linger in the bathroom to listen and give your ever-so-matter-of-fact advice, for all the prayers we've prayed together, for the grand times sledding (even if it was at 2AM), the quiet moments under stars together whether walking to the house from the barn, or sitting on the beach, or speed walking from the bus stop to school before sunrise (when we learned that we couldn't just forgo the season sticker on our bus passes), for all the peaches and apricots we stuffed ourselves with, for the dishes we've deliberated over, for the bunnies and chickens we've shared, for the sermon prep sessions, the wandering airport boutiques to find honey sticks, and planting seeds ...memories are forever.
And memories ARE gifts.
Thank you.
But you've given me more than memories.
You've taught me so much about happiness, about joy in everyday, about contentment, about trusting when you can't see, about surrendering when it doesn't make sense, about living a life of constant giving, about loving no matter what.
Thank you.
I can hardly wait till you get home. :)
Because saying a sister is a gift is too generic.
She's one of heaven's BEST gifts.
Bri, I'm ever so thankful for every mountain climbed with you, for every moment that you would linger in the bathroom to listen and give your ever-so-matter-of-fact advice, for all the prayers we've prayed together, for the grand times sledding (even if it was at 2AM), the quiet moments under stars together whether walking to the house from the barn, or sitting on the beach, or speed walking from the bus stop to school before sunrise (when we learned that we couldn't just forgo the season sticker on our bus passes), for all the peaches and apricots we stuffed ourselves with, for the dishes we've deliberated over, for the bunnies and chickens we've shared, for the sermon prep sessions, the wandering airport boutiques to find honey sticks, and planting seeds ...memories are forever.
And memories ARE gifts.
Thank you.
But you've given me more than memories.
You've taught me so much about happiness, about joy in everyday, about contentment, about trusting when you can't see, about surrendering when it doesn't make sense, about living a life of constant giving, about loving no matter what.
Thank you.
I can hardly wait till you get home. :)
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Clinicals Journal
Things are busy. It's that time of the quarter. Lots of exams. Lots of deadlines.
In the middle of everything, I've got to stop. I've got to write - partly cause I want to make the most of this learning experience; mostly because I want to remember the journey.
Warning: I'm being very real. Telling you just how it is. You might be panicked. You might think...well, I don't know what... Just know: I am learning and that this is my honest journey.
Clinicals Day 1:
Today is my first day wearing scrubs. They've been hanging in my closet since Christmas, and today, I finally put them on. I focus on collecting my books and packing my backpack as mom and dad whistle and tease the "nurse" they've got on their hands. They know I'm excited. It's a big day. I have take my nurse 90 theory final at the college before I can drive down to the nursing home facility.
I take the test. I have my normal test jitters (Oh, the joys of college:). Then on to orientation. We form a white processional walking down the nursing home walls- these classmates, Pattie*- my teacher, and me. We stop again and again as *Pattie bends down and talks to the residents. They love her. She knows them...and from here on out, they are her co-teachers for us. They are so excited. They love to teach. They've been waiting for her next class to come since the end of last quarter.
I'm assigned my clinical partner, *Ina. We've sat together the entire class so far. We're happy. Our first assignment is to go on a scavenger hunt to find all the places and tools that we will need while we are working here. This place is so big and so confusing.
Today, I get a peek into the lives of a few people. I get a peek into the shortness, the fragility, the basicness of living. My crazy world shrinks for awhile. I realize that it doesn't have to take much and just eating, breathing and sleeping is all that could be left. But here, I meet heroes, people who've learned to take things in stride, who live day to day, moment to moment, and who love little things, the simple things, who will bless the little world around them for everyday that they live. They inspire me. I determine to use every moment, every ounce of strength, every breath I breathe to it's fullest.
Clinicals Day 2:
It's not quite 7:45 am. I barely sit down in our makeshift classroom at the back of the nursing home, and I'm sent out on my first mission of the day. My partner, Ina*, and I are supposed to find our patient in the dinning room and assist her with breakfast. We get there, and then we realize that we don't know what she looks like. I run back to Pattie* and explain our situation. She's looks at me and says, "Did you ask?".
"Uhhh, well..." We step in the dinning room and she confirms that we were pointed to the right one.
Breakfast is a great time. I help the lady beside us while Ina* assists our patient. Pattie* comes around and helps encourage them to eat. There's such a warmth around her. She get's close to them. Her voice is low and caring but normal. She greets them...they know that she's sincerely happy to see them this morning. She's showing us everything she's taught us in the classroom. She's showing us what it means to care but also respect.
I loved learning in the classroom. I realize how much I'm going to love learning in "real time".
We measure the amounts our patients eat/drink. Just for the record: 240cc for the big cups, 200cc for the little cups.
I wheel the patient to the activities room. I get in trouble with the staff for trying to lock her wheels. I guess that's considered restraint. I quickly take brakes off and hurry to my patients room.
*Ina and I know that the patient's care directives say that she needs to go to bed between meals. We scratch our heads, "Should we put her in bed or should we wait for *Pattie?" We go back and forth for quite awhile. Pattie is busy with a multitude of situations with the other patients and students (she warned us that we would want to clone her!) and so we finally decide that we probably should go ahead and put our patient in bed. We've learned how to do this in the sim. lab back at school, so we get started. The gait belt, the wheel chair locked and lowered, the patient in bed...quite a process. But as much as we try to be professional and to do things well, we realize that we are not the slickest at this job. We walk around the bed...I'm sure we ask her if she's okay a half dozen too many times, but we can't remember what else to do. SO pathetic! We don't realize how pathetic we are until...I walk back in the room a few minutes later. *Pattie is standing there...she looks at me and realizes that I don't have a clue that I've made a bunch of mistakes. "So you did a transfer?" she asks.
"Yes".
"Did you put a transfer sheet and a barrier pad down?"
"Uhh, no."
"Did you make sure the bed was lowered?"
"Uhhh..."
"Did you check for incontinence?"
"Ummm...Not yet."
"Did you prop her with pillows?"
"no."
I've got the picture. We've messed up, and a flickering memory of a skills checklist comes to mind...one that she was supposed to sign off each skill when she watched us successfully complete it on a real patient.
We've got some work to do.
First off, we need to do some peri-care. She tells us to get our supplies for the job and that she'll be back in when we are ready to start. We're embarrassed. Thinking straight at this point is a trial, and so we are racking our brains trying to remember what supplies we will need.
"Rags."
I turn to my partner, "How many?".
"Four, I think." That's how many we used in the sim lab. I find the closet and get a barrier pad and get five rags for good measure. *Pattie meets me in the hall and asks me what I've have got. I explain,"Barrier pad, five rags..."
She gives me that look again. It's not mean or anything. It's kind of a smile. It's kind of understanding cause she knows how much I want to do my best...and somehow, she probably knows that I will. But right now, she knows I've got a few things yet to learn. "Vanessa, do really think that five rags is going to take care of this job?" (by now, we've checked and we know we have a big project on our hands).
My mind is whirling. I blurt out, "Ina* told me to get four". UGH. The stuff that comes out when you're in a pinch...did I say I'm learning from this experience?
"You need more like 10 rags".
Back to the closet. I find five more rags.
I turn back in the hallway. Then I find out that what I have are washcloths and not rags at all.
"You poor girls." Pattie* brings me back into the closet and shows me what real rags are. Meanwhile, I've "soiled" 10 washcloths that will have to go through the laundry again before they can be put back in the closet.
Our teacher is patient. She makes up for our inefficiencies and shows us how. I'm learning to say "Oh well", learn from my mistakes, and watch and replicate because someday, I will be a nurse like my teacher.
This is just a taste of the first day "on the job". I feel like a deer in the headlights almost all morning, but funny, somehow, I enjoy the whole process despite.
----
I really mean it when I say: couldn't find anything, couldn't remember anything, and did pretty much everything wrong. I feel kind of like I did when I started driving. That's encouraging cause now, of course, I don't have to strain my poor brain to remember all the steps to change lanes or think about which peddle is the gas and the breaks (good thing:). Someday, this too will be almost as natural as breathing. Someday.
For now, I go back and forth to the room. Undoing, redoing, asking, looking, trying, laughing, loving, and knowing this will forever be on my memorable and most educating experiences list.
Oh, and a couple other things for the record:
1. I figured out that small gloves are really too small. I'm going for the mediums here on out.
2. I've learned: when in doubt, ask!
3. I've learned what it means to get close to the patient to talk to them
-----------
I've had a few more clinical days since DAY 2. I will write about them later. But just FYI, we got into the swing of things faster than I imagined we would.
In the middle of everything, I've got to stop. I've got to write - partly cause I want to make the most of this learning experience; mostly because I want to remember the journey.
Warning: I'm being very real. Telling you just how it is. You might be panicked. You might think...well, I don't know what... Just know: I am learning and that this is my honest journey.
Clinicals Day 1:
Today is my first day wearing scrubs. They've been hanging in my closet since Christmas, and today, I finally put them on. I focus on collecting my books and packing my backpack as mom and dad whistle and tease the "nurse" they've got on their hands. They know I'm excited. It's a big day. I have take my nurse 90 theory final at the college before I can drive down to the nursing home facility.
I take the test. I have my normal test jitters (Oh, the joys of college:). Then on to orientation. We form a white processional walking down the nursing home walls- these classmates, Pattie*- my teacher, and me. We stop again and again as *Pattie bends down and talks to the residents. They love her. She knows them...and from here on out, they are her co-teachers for us. They are so excited. They love to teach. They've been waiting for her next class to come since the end of last quarter.
I'm assigned my clinical partner, *Ina. We've sat together the entire class so far. We're happy. Our first assignment is to go on a scavenger hunt to find all the places and tools that we will need while we are working here. This place is so big and so confusing.
Today, I get a peek into the lives of a few people. I get a peek into the shortness, the fragility, the basicness of living. My crazy world shrinks for awhile. I realize that it doesn't have to take much and just eating, breathing and sleeping is all that could be left. But here, I meet heroes, people who've learned to take things in stride, who live day to day, moment to moment, and who love little things, the simple things, who will bless the little world around them for everyday that they live. They inspire me. I determine to use every moment, every ounce of strength, every breath I breathe to it's fullest.
Clinicals Day 2:
It's not quite 7:45 am. I barely sit down in our makeshift classroom at the back of the nursing home, and I'm sent out on my first mission of the day. My partner, Ina*, and I are supposed to find our patient in the dinning room and assist her with breakfast. We get there, and then we realize that we don't know what she looks like. I run back to Pattie* and explain our situation. She's looks at me and says, "Did you ask?".
"Uhhh, well..." We step in the dinning room and she confirms that we were pointed to the right one.
Breakfast is a great time. I help the lady beside us while Ina* assists our patient. Pattie* comes around and helps encourage them to eat. There's such a warmth around her. She get's close to them. Her voice is low and caring but normal. She greets them...they know that she's sincerely happy to see them this morning. She's showing us everything she's taught us in the classroom. She's showing us what it means to care but also respect.
I loved learning in the classroom. I realize how much I'm going to love learning in "real time".
We measure the amounts our patients eat/drink. Just for the record: 240cc for the big cups, 200cc for the little cups.
I wheel the patient to the activities room. I get in trouble with the staff for trying to lock her wheels. I guess that's considered restraint. I quickly take brakes off and hurry to my patients room.
*Ina and I know that the patient's care directives say that she needs to go to bed between meals. We scratch our heads, "Should we put her in bed or should we wait for *Pattie?" We go back and forth for quite awhile. Pattie is busy with a multitude of situations with the other patients and students (she warned us that we would want to clone her!) and so we finally decide that we probably should go ahead and put our patient in bed. We've learned how to do this in the sim. lab back at school, so we get started. The gait belt, the wheel chair locked and lowered, the patient in bed...quite a process. But as much as we try to be professional and to do things well, we realize that we are not the slickest at this job. We walk around the bed...I'm sure we ask her if she's okay a half dozen too many times, but we can't remember what else to do. SO pathetic! We don't realize how pathetic we are until...I walk back in the room a few minutes later. *Pattie is standing there...she looks at me and realizes that I don't have a clue that I've made a bunch of mistakes. "So you did a transfer?" she asks.
"Yes".
"Did you put a transfer sheet and a barrier pad down?"
"Uhh, no."
"Did you make sure the bed was lowered?"
"Uhhh..."
"Did you check for incontinence?"
"Ummm...Not yet."
"Did you prop her with pillows?"
"no."
I've got the picture. We've messed up, and a flickering memory of a skills checklist comes to mind...one that she was supposed to sign off each skill when she watched us successfully complete it on a real patient.
We've got some work to do.
First off, we need to do some peri-care. She tells us to get our supplies for the job and that she'll be back in when we are ready to start. We're embarrassed. Thinking straight at this point is a trial, and so we are racking our brains trying to remember what supplies we will need.
"Rags."
I turn to my partner, "How many?".
"Four, I think." That's how many we used in the sim lab. I find the closet and get a barrier pad and get five rags for good measure. *Pattie meets me in the hall and asks me what I've have got. I explain,"Barrier pad, five rags..."
She gives me that look again. It's not mean or anything. It's kind of a smile. It's kind of understanding cause she knows how much I want to do my best...and somehow, she probably knows that I will. But right now, she knows I've got a few things yet to learn. "Vanessa, do really think that five rags is going to take care of this job?" (by now, we've checked and we know we have a big project on our hands).
My mind is whirling. I blurt out, "Ina* told me to get four". UGH. The stuff that comes out when you're in a pinch...did I say I'm learning from this experience?
"You need more like 10 rags".
Back to the closet. I find five more rags.
I turn back in the hallway. Then I find out that what I have are washcloths and not rags at all.
"You poor girls." Pattie* brings me back into the closet and shows me what real rags are. Meanwhile, I've "soiled" 10 washcloths that will have to go through the laundry again before they can be put back in the closet.
Our teacher is patient. She makes up for our inefficiencies and shows us how. I'm learning to say "Oh well", learn from my mistakes, and watch and replicate because someday, I will be a nurse like my teacher.
This is just a taste of the first day "on the job". I feel like a deer in the headlights almost all morning, but funny, somehow, I enjoy the whole process despite.
----
I really mean it when I say: couldn't find anything, couldn't remember anything, and did pretty much everything wrong. I feel kind of like I did when I started driving. That's encouraging cause now, of course, I don't have to strain my poor brain to remember all the steps to change lanes or think about which peddle is the gas and the breaks (good thing:). Someday, this too will be almost as natural as breathing. Someday.
For now, I go back and forth to the room. Undoing, redoing, asking, looking, trying, laughing, loving, and knowing this will forever be on my memorable and most educating experiences list.
Oh, and a couple other things for the record:
1. I figured out that small gloves are really too small. I'm going for the mediums here on out.
2. I've learned: when in doubt, ask!
3. I've learned what it means to get close to the patient to talk to them
-----------
I've had a few more clinical days since DAY 2. I will write about them later. But just FYI, we got into the swing of things faster than I imagined we would.
Sunday, February 17, 2013
I Want to Be A Nurse
I remember praying- 15 years old-about what to do with my life. Why I felt such a burden to know then? I don't know.
But He answered.
To be honest, I wasn't the most pleased with the answer, not then. In fact, nursing was the one thing I had told everyone I would not do.
Now, as this journey continues, as God's plan unfolds, I recognize how much better God knows me than I know myself, how He brings into my life only that which bring true joy.
I love this journey.
Cannot tell you how exciting it is for me to be wearing whites. I never knew that I would fall in love with this training, this work, this life so completely- only God knew.
Even these hard days- these first few days of clinicals- when, like I wrote in one of my clinical journals, "I feel like crying but I choose to laugh", when I make mistakes, when I can't find anything, remember anything, and I realize how great my need of wisdom really is, these days make me more determined than ever to be the best nurse that I can possibly be. Lord, help me.
I love my teachers. One is a fabulous nurse and professor turned friend who teaches, guides, and who'll look at me and say, "Vanessa?!..." . One is a dear little grandma. One is a dedicated Christian man with a progressive paralyzing disease in his body. One is a girl down the hall in the same nursing home who has survived a terrible accident. These are my teachers. I pray that I can give to them all that they are giving me.
It's Sunday today. I'm not doing clinicals. I've been at the hospital all day though. I'm only his sister for about three days, but in those three days he's made up a pretty good chunk of my world. Beady blue eyes looking at me, trusting me. He's hooked up to monitors and an IV. Tiny. Vulnerable. Precious. What does life hold for baby boy? As I stroke his little forehead, I pray.
Being big sister for baby boy is actually a great opportunity for me. I ask questions- lots of questions. I put pieces of A&P homework together. I love this. I love this.
I realize it again as I walk out to the car to go home for the night.
I want to be a nurse. I do. I really do.
But He answered.
To be honest, I wasn't the most pleased with the answer, not then. In fact, nursing was the one thing I had told everyone I would not do.
Now, as this journey continues, as God's plan unfolds, I recognize how much better God knows me than I know myself, how He brings into my life only that which bring true joy.
I love this journey.
Cannot tell you how exciting it is for me to be wearing whites. I never knew that I would fall in love with this training, this work, this life so completely- only God knew.
Even these hard days- these first few days of clinicals- when, like I wrote in one of my clinical journals, "I feel like crying but I choose to laugh", when I make mistakes, when I can't find anything, remember anything, and I realize how great my need of wisdom really is, these days make me more determined than ever to be the best nurse that I can possibly be. Lord, help me.
I love my teachers. One is a fabulous nurse and professor turned friend who teaches, guides, and who'll look at me and say, "Vanessa?!..." . One is a dear little grandma. One is a dedicated Christian man with a progressive paralyzing disease in his body. One is a girl down the hall in the same nursing home who has survived a terrible accident. These are my teachers. I pray that I can give to them all that they are giving me.
It's Sunday today. I'm not doing clinicals. I've been at the hospital all day though. I'm only his sister for about three days, but in those three days he's made up a pretty good chunk of my world. Beady blue eyes looking at me, trusting me. He's hooked up to monitors and an IV. Tiny. Vulnerable. Precious. What does life hold for baby boy? As I stroke his little forehead, I pray.
Being big sister for baby boy is actually a great opportunity for me. I ask questions- lots of questions. I put pieces of A&P homework together. I love this. I love this.
I realize it again as I walk out to the car to go home for the night.
I want to be a nurse. I do. I really do.
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Today We Celebrate...
A Life...
that has filled our hearts with so much love and laughter.
Again. and. Again.
Today we also remember one year ago when we were sitting around the supper table and Dad called on his way home from work and Mom said, "Life is going to change."
We had no idea what "change" really meant, but one year later, we'd never turn back, never turn back...
From a baby boy, no two baby boys who we love as our own.
From a beautiful family reunited.
From tears of joy and sorrow shared together.
From friendship built forever.
From the opportunity to be apart of God's beautiful work of restoration.
From when God, again, redefined "family" for us.
Family = the gift of people that God places in your closest circle of life.
This month, we also celebrate two more birthdays of certain kiddos, and it was this month, three years ago, when God placed them in our hearts.
I'm privileged to be "big sister".
Being apart of this family is a gift, such a gift, to me.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Words.
I wish I were more fluent in English. (No, I don't know any other language. Yes, I'm in a dilemma).
I love writing.
I hate (okay, strongly dislike) sitting and deleting and inching my way through phrases and then reading back and realizing the nothingness in it all.
Of course, I'm pretty sure that this is a sure symptom of lack of exercise in this area.
But I blame it on a little question that has nagged my brain for awhile:
What are words? Is there value in them? Or are actions the only thing that really counts?
Then I remember that both my words and actions are pretty rotten and worthless when it's all summed up. Only thing that can count for me is a Jesus who is working with me. His story revealed is the only thing that matters. And His story, in some way, includes me. Wow! Yes?! It's true.
I'm love, love, loving my classes right now...getting closer to the real nursing thing:) And this one object lesson, from sitting in hours of lecture of what it means to be a nurse, I draw. Doctor: He does a big job. His life is summed up in late nights, early mornings, working to diagnose, treat, operate on patients. Nurse: She works hard. She gets dirty. She's on her feet all day caring for and saving the life of the patient. Patient: Totally dependent. Sick. Needy. Recipient of Grace. The patient (at least in most critical care situations) cannot DO anything to help himself. BUT. The patient is the key player in the story of the doctor and the nurse. Whether he lives or dies will impact their story, and that, whether he likes it or not.
A no-brainer? sure. But sometimes it takes those for me. Because we are the ones He is redeeming, our story is apart of His. Does our testimony count? it must.
Not to share it would be shame.
Though I have learned that God cares more about what's really happening inside my heart than in what I say, I've also realized that He has gifted us to think in words.
And though He gave that ultimate sacrifice of all heaven and life itself in action, He told us the story in words. Does God think in words? I don't know. What I do know is that He decided to put His thoughts in words for me. That is a gift.
Deliberation is enough. Aftermath of GYC - heart-searching, reading, thinking, and praying- and a multitude of Goals and New Year's Resolutions swirling in my head are resolving.
This year (January isn't over=), I seek to love a gift, to search a gift, to hide a gift, and share a gift- God's heart, His thought in His written Word. AND. Write the part of the story that is unwritten yet...His work: REDEMPTION working in me.
"Words are more than an indication of character; they have power to react on the character. Men are influenced by their own words." DA 323
I love writing.
I hate (okay, strongly dislike) sitting and deleting and inching my way through phrases and then reading back and realizing the nothingness in it all.
Of course, I'm pretty sure that this is a sure symptom of lack of exercise in this area.
But I blame it on a little question that has nagged my brain for awhile:
What are words? Is there value in them? Or are actions the only thing that really counts?
Then I remember that both my words and actions are pretty rotten and worthless when it's all summed up. Only thing that can count for me is a Jesus who is working with me. His story revealed is the only thing that matters. And His story, in some way, includes me. Wow! Yes?! It's true.
I'm love, love, loving my classes right now...getting closer to the real nursing thing:) And this one object lesson, from sitting in hours of lecture of what it means to be a nurse, I draw. Doctor: He does a big job. His life is summed up in late nights, early mornings, working to diagnose, treat, operate on patients. Nurse: She works hard. She gets dirty. She's on her feet all day caring for and saving the life of the patient. Patient: Totally dependent. Sick. Needy. Recipient of Grace. The patient (at least in most critical care situations) cannot DO anything to help himself. BUT. The patient is the key player in the story of the doctor and the nurse. Whether he lives or dies will impact their story, and that, whether he likes it or not.
A no-brainer? sure. But sometimes it takes those for me. Because we are the ones He is redeeming, our story is apart of His. Does our testimony count? it must.
Not to share it would be shame.
Though I have learned that God cares more about what's really happening inside my heart than in what I say, I've also realized that He has gifted us to think in words.
And though He gave that ultimate sacrifice of all heaven and life itself in action, He told us the story in words. Does God think in words? I don't know. What I do know is that He decided to put His thoughts in words for me. That is a gift.
Deliberation is enough. Aftermath of GYC - heart-searching, reading, thinking, and praying- and a multitude of Goals and New Year's Resolutions swirling in my head are resolving.
This year (January isn't over=), I seek to love a gift, to search a gift, to hide a gift, and share a gift- God's heart, His thought in His written Word. AND. Write the part of the story that is unwritten yet...His work: REDEMPTION working in me.
"Words are more than an indication of character; they have power to react on the character. Men are influenced by their own words." DA 323
Sunday, November 11, 2012
What Do You See?
There's not too much down time in my life right now...was there ever? My sisters will never let me forget a segment of one of our family videos when I was about five. I was kneading bread for my business that I had back then while reciting all the things on my very "grown up" to do list. There was the bread to be delivered to my costomers and then amongst a couple other things there was my scrapbook. My scrapbook?!
Oh that the pressing things of life were still that simple:)
But I wanted to write a few things I have been thinking about due to some of what I've read as of late and also some of what life's experiences has been teaching me.
------------
Trails and afflictions are the lot of ALL. Everybody has them. The way in which they show up is different, and perhaps, even the heat of the furnace has varying degrees for everyone.
Most of my trials originated with mySELF. Pride, selfishness, guilt...yes, I've had my fair share...and it's brought with it, it's heartache. BUT. It makes grace that much more beautiful to me. Grace that can overcome a child's hardened heart. Grace that can transform, change, renew. That's a grace I love.
I know mirriads of people, though, going through pain right now, and I'd never say that's so simply their fault. It's not. Suffering is a result of a sinful world. There's no other way to say it.
For some the fire embitters. For others it shines, it purifies, it sparkles.
I've written about my grandma before... but as I've grown I really have come to appreciate her for way more than just being my traditional hug me, love me, give me "wet ones" kind of grandma.
If anyone has gone through trials, she has.
When she was a young girl, her father came to America from England and was preparing to move his family over there. Grandma still talks about that day when she waved good-bye to him all those years ago. She never saw him again. He died of a stroke or brain tumor shortly after he left.
Being one of many children, she knew what poverty meant. Life was not easy for her widowed mother.
Grandma and Grandpa lived in England during WWII. Later they married in Africa and experienced war there, also. They knew danger. They knew hardship. Eventually, they had to escape the country to go back to England with their first child.
Grandma was a nurse. (Nope, I'm not just following in my daddy's shoes:) She worked long nights while raising her five children.
Later, she faced fierce stresses at home because of her love for Bible truth.
She fought cancer, had strokes, been run over by cars...how she's survived all of it...that's partly attributed to her stubbornness but more than that it's faith.
With 90 years (next month) of facing the battles of this life, you could expect discouragement, scars of hurt, something to be there. BUT there isn't.
There's joy.
Grandma will tell the stories.
And if you've ever had the privilege to hear them, you have heard her say: "The Lord always provided for us", "The Lord is good", "He always takes care of His children..." .
For Grandma, the difficult things in life were just an opportunity to prove the faithfulness of the God. She won't ever recount anything of life without praising Him. Why? Because He's the one who has carried her through.
When you review your past, if you're like anyone else that I've met, you've had trials. Maybe you are going through the most severe ones right now.
When I look back, what do I see? Do I see the beauty of grace in every trial? And when it's been 90 instead of 19 years, will I still see His faithfulness?
Oh that the pressing things of life were still that simple:)
But I wanted to write a few things I have been thinking about due to some of what I've read as of late and also some of what life's experiences has been teaching me.
------------
Trails and afflictions are the lot of ALL. Everybody has them. The way in which they show up is different, and perhaps, even the heat of the furnace has varying degrees for everyone.
Most of my trials originated with mySELF. Pride, selfishness, guilt...yes, I've had my fair share...and it's brought with it, it's heartache. BUT. It makes grace that much more beautiful to me. Grace that can overcome a child's hardened heart. Grace that can transform, change, renew. That's a grace I love.
I know mirriads of people, though, going through pain right now, and I'd never say that's so simply their fault. It's not. Suffering is a result of a sinful world. There's no other way to say it.
For some the fire embitters. For others it shines, it purifies, it sparkles.
I've written about my grandma before... but as I've grown I really have come to appreciate her for way more than just being my traditional hug me, love me, give me "wet ones" kind of grandma.
If anyone has gone through trials, she has.
When she was a young girl, her father came to America from England and was preparing to move his family over there. Grandma still talks about that day when she waved good-bye to him all those years ago. She never saw him again. He died of a stroke or brain tumor shortly after he left.
Being one of many children, she knew what poverty meant. Life was not easy for her widowed mother.
Grandma and Grandpa lived in England during WWII. Later they married in Africa and experienced war there, also. They knew danger. They knew hardship. Eventually, they had to escape the country to go back to England with their first child.
Grandma was a nurse. (Nope, I'm not just following in my daddy's shoes:) She worked long nights while raising her five children.
Later, she faced fierce stresses at home because of her love for Bible truth.
She fought cancer, had strokes, been run over by cars...how she's survived all of it...that's partly attributed to her stubbornness but more than that it's faith.
With 90 years (next month) of facing the battles of this life, you could expect discouragement, scars of hurt, something to be there. BUT there isn't.
There's joy.
Grandma will tell the stories.
And if you've ever had the privilege to hear them, you have heard her say: "The Lord always provided for us", "The Lord is good", "He always takes care of His children..." .
For Grandma, the difficult things in life were just an opportunity to prove the faithfulness of the God. She won't ever recount anything of life without praising Him. Why? Because He's the one who has carried her through.
When you review your past, if you're like anyone else that I've met, you've had trials. Maybe you are going through the most severe ones right now.
When I look back, what do I see? Do I see the beauty of grace in every trial? And when it's been 90 instead of 19 years, will I still see His faithfulness?
Thursday, August 30, 2012
"Thank You, Jesus..."
Has been the title sitting in my draft box for almost a week.
Has been the prayer whispered again and again.
I'm home. Hungary, one of the most incredible, unforgettable experiences of my life, is over. Even as our plane landed in *Sea-t*c, my heart, though crying to have to say good-bye, whispered thankfulness.
Thank you, Jesus for teaching me through pleading, through tossing from bed to floor, through open computer and shut eyes, through laughter and silence, through burdens shared without words, through prayers that only God could understand, and tears of joy in victory gained.
Time and time again when I recognized those victories, I fell to my knees recommitting my life. "Lord, wherever, however, whatever the battle is that I'm called to fight, I'm willing. Just let my every-breath be for souls won to Jesus."
But victory does not come without a fight...and some are lonelier, harder, and perhaps more terrible (yes, I know that not every post of duty is like FJT). It's okay.
Victory is beautiful.
-----
Sabbath Evening.
If you could stand with me by an above-ground, 4 ft tall tank on the seminary grounds in Pecel, you would understand- something of my joy. If you could see the souls, for whom you prayed late and early, leaving their old lives and starting new, if you could see your friends slip out of the choir and walk up close to take their stand, if you could hear the whisper, "Two more visitors from Ujpest, Vanessa, two more", you would know my joy- right now.
All I can say is, "Thank you, Jesus".
Somehow, joy is indescribable.
------
Sabbath Night.
Visitors are driven back home. It's somewhat quiet at the seminary, our Hungarian home. There's only the FJT team left. Good-byes have to be said...staying up all night is a voted for alternative.
But there's one more story that has to be completely unwound. I've not been sure if we should go there, but they should know, and really, I should say something. (I'm really bad at saying the right thing as far as "congratulations"...I mean, what do you say?)
I have one more good-bye to say(1st round:).
Me: "I'm not very good at saying what I want to say..." (Yea, that's why I just finished a evangelistic series!).
Richi: "Me neither- and then in English...."
Me: "But I want to say..."
Richi: "Just a second. translator?"
It's me, my sister, Richi*, Jenni*, Kamill*, their mom, and other dear friends. We laugh, share, realize that this has been God's working for all of us together.
Me: "We were praying for you since the beginning -praying that you would make decisions for Jesus. While you Mako* kids were meeting in your little prayer group (unbeknown to us until part-way through), we were praying in our room- Goosey girls and Ford girls together -pleading that you would stay-- just long enough to make a commitment, asking that you would give your lives to Christ."
Ms. Roszica: "At the same time, I was praying too- on the other side of the house".
Me: "When I found out that you were staying...you have no idea how I flew into the sermon-prep room where Goosey girls were finishing their sermons. I knew God had a purpose. We continued to plead for you, and you can't imagine what it was watching every step and every decision that you made- when you checked the card, when you said 'near future', I was was thankful, so thankful, but I prayed that we could be here."
Jenni: "I didn't know that you were doing that!"
Me: "GOD IS SO GOOD!"
Ms. Rosica: "Continue to pray for the rest of the kids in Mako* who haven't..."
I know. There are eight more out of eleven beautiful siblings plus wives, most of which witnessed the day. And there's a mother's heart longing for them to find home.
---------
And I do. I pray. And not just for them.
-------
I lay in bed and wish for sleep. The jet-lag always sets in on return trip.
I think of the young people in Hungary- young people standing in a very different world than mine, a world with different challenges, a world where so many stand so alone.
Now, mingled with my thanks is a continued plea- a plea that they would stand and be faithful. This work is not over...
I look through pictures. I remember blessings. I remember joy. I remember friends and good times. But I remember most of all, the faithfulness of my God.
--------
Sunday morning 4 AM
We hug good-bye to sleepy-eyed, but sweet, sweet friends one more time. I tumble over the back seat and squeeze my hand through the crack of the van window. Good-bye Hungary. Good-bye FJT.
This experience is never to be forgotten!
Thursday, August 23, 2012
About the Driving
Just an add on or maybe a rebuttal....to my sister's news feed:)
No one died. It was fine. It was fun. I had a great driver sitting next to me. Seriously, I've been driving automatic for 3+ yrs. Well maybe that's laughable to most of you who have been driving for who knows how long. But really, I sort of get the hang of the driving thing. Just had an itch to drive- missed it the last month (me seriously miss driving?!) But anyway, no automatics here.
So yep, I've added it to my resume of new skills aquired in Hungary.
1. Ping-pong
2. Meta
3. Semi
4. manual driving
Just for the record:)
Sad this time is coming to a close, but my sister at home is already counting the hours. Miss everyone there.
But Stina-bee and I have brothers and sisters here that we can never forget. Brothers and sisters that will always have a place in hearts. Brothers and sisters that we hope to, no, we must meet in our Father's house.
No one died. It was fine. It was fun. I had a great driver sitting next to me. Seriously, I've been driving automatic for 3+ yrs. Well maybe that's laughable to most of you who have been driving for who knows how long. But really, I sort of get the hang of the driving thing. Just had an itch to drive- missed it the last month (me seriously miss driving?!) But anyway, no automatics here.
So yep, I've added it to my resume of new skills aquired in Hungary.
1. Ping-pong
2. Meta
3. Semi
4. manual driving
Just for the record:)
Sad this time is coming to a close, but my sister at home is already counting the hours. Miss everyone there.
But Stina-bee and I have brothers and sisters here that we can never forget. Brothers and sisters that will always have a place in hearts. Brothers and sisters that we hope to, no, we must meet in our Father's house.
Monday, August 20, 2012
It's a Gift...
for me to be here.
It was at the very beginning. Today, it's a double gift.
One that I would never dare ask for...but really the fact that I'm here today is the best birthday/Christmas/(any other reason to get a gift) present ever!!!!!!!!!!
And I'm thankful- so thankful to be here to witness the decisions being made even now.
Today, one of the people who has been near top of my prayer list decided that this Sabbath was his day to make that public commitment to Christ in baptism. It is so amazing to have a little part in people's decisions to give their lives to God. It's so amazing to see your prayers for souls being answered. It's so amazing to watch God work in ways you couldn't orchestrate.
Sabbath was a full day. I had the presentation on Spirit of Prophecy in the evening. I only found out I was doing the presentation a couple days before, so I was once again working at every possible min. to pull the thing together. Finally during church on Sabbath morning, I finished putting my outline together. There was six baptisms in the afternoon- one of those experiences I will never forget. But it took ALL afternoon. So with 15 min battery power and 20 min to the site, I finished putting my slides together. Told the girls at my site, "God is going to have to preach this sermon".
It's crazy how completely helpless I feel to be able to present truth clearly so that people can understand. God is so faithful to show me what my abilities and anything else I think I might have are in their true light. I know I've said it before. But it's so true. It's only God- only God who can do anything here that will make any difference.
God did preach the sermon and somehow He let me be apart of it. You can't imagine how much I've been blessed through this series, how much I've been learning, how much I've grown. This is why God gives us the awesome privilege to be co-workers with Him in this work. He knows that WE, that I need it.
After I get done preaching I feel like I've run a marathon. Esp. Sabbath night I was completely drained. As soon as I finished preaching I could hardly think, remember where I put stuff, remember that there was NOT going to be mtgs the next few days ect. I was soo hungry. You get the picture:) But I realized so strongly that God had given me clearness of thought, energy, everything I need until the message was over. It was a miracle! There was only one instance where I had a brain "switch off" during the meeting. That was when I couldn't figure out where Amos was:) I'm the kind of person that has to sing through the alphabet to figure out where letters go (you know what I mean:). Unfortunately I'm like that with some of the books of the Bible too. So I was saying in my head, "Amos, Nehemiah, Esther, Job..." Anyway, I eventually got it together.
Where I am deficient God is ALL sufficient.
Keep praying for our visitors. Many of them are struggling with different things...
Yesterday, we had a lovely off day. We went up into the mountains and did some hiking (right up my alley:). It just makes me feel so at home, and you can't help but have fun with these kids. The great thing is that not only the FJK kids but also the church members and visitors come on the outings. After, we played Meta- a game that I think is similar to base ball but different and really enjoyable for everyone (including me- now that's somethin'!) Actually, I'm acquiring a couple new skills here...one is table-tennis. Me hit a ball... ever? But I actually really like playing around the world table-tennis, and I'm not the only bad player who likes to play.
Today is a national holiday. We will be climbing a mountain tonight to watch the fireworks.
And...Ms. Leasa is arriving in two hours! Everyone's excited.
Four more meetings to go. One more presentation for me. Time is ticking by too fast. Taking every moment as a gift cause that's what it is!
It was at the very beginning. Today, it's a double gift.
One that I would never dare ask for...but really the fact that I'm here today is the best birthday/Christmas/(any other reason to get a gift) present ever!!!!!!!!!!
And I'm thankful- so thankful to be here to witness the decisions being made even now.
Today, one of the people who has been near top of my prayer list decided that this Sabbath was his day to make that public commitment to Christ in baptism. It is so amazing to have a little part in people's decisions to give their lives to God. It's so amazing to see your prayers for souls being answered. It's so amazing to watch God work in ways you couldn't orchestrate.
Sabbath was a full day. I had the presentation on Spirit of Prophecy in the evening. I only found out I was doing the presentation a couple days before, so I was once again working at every possible min. to pull the thing together. Finally during church on Sabbath morning, I finished putting my outline together. There was six baptisms in the afternoon- one of those experiences I will never forget. But it took ALL afternoon. So with 15 min battery power and 20 min to the site, I finished putting my slides together. Told the girls at my site, "God is going to have to preach this sermon".
It's crazy how completely helpless I feel to be able to present truth clearly so that people can understand. God is so faithful to show me what my abilities and anything else I think I might have are in their true light. I know I've said it before. But it's so true. It's only God- only God who can do anything here that will make any difference.
God did preach the sermon and somehow He let me be apart of it. You can't imagine how much I've been blessed through this series, how much I've been learning, how much I've grown. This is why God gives us the awesome privilege to be co-workers with Him in this work. He knows that WE, that I need it.
After I get done preaching I feel like I've run a marathon. Esp. Sabbath night I was completely drained. As soon as I finished preaching I could hardly think, remember where I put stuff, remember that there was NOT going to be mtgs the next few days ect. I was soo hungry. You get the picture:) But I realized so strongly that God had given me clearness of thought, energy, everything I need until the message was over. It was a miracle! There was only one instance where I had a brain "switch off" during the meeting. That was when I couldn't figure out where Amos was:) I'm the kind of person that has to sing through the alphabet to figure out where letters go (you know what I mean:). Unfortunately I'm like that with some of the books of the Bible too. So I was saying in my head, "Amos, Nehemiah, Esther, Job..." Anyway, I eventually got it together.
Where I am deficient God is ALL sufficient.
Keep praying for our visitors. Many of them are struggling with different things...
Yesterday, we had a lovely off day. We went up into the mountains and did some hiking (right up my alley:). It just makes me feel so at home, and you can't help but have fun with these kids. The great thing is that not only the FJK kids but also the church members and visitors come on the outings. After, we played Meta- a game that I think is similar to base ball but different and really enjoyable for everyone (including me- now that's somethin'!) Actually, I'm acquiring a couple new skills here...one is table-tennis. Me hit a ball... ever? But I actually really like playing around the world table-tennis, and I'm not the only bad player who likes to play.
Today is a national holiday. We will be climbing a mountain tonight to watch the fireworks.
And...Ms. Leasa is arriving in two hours! Everyone's excited.
Four more meetings to go. One more presentation for me. Time is ticking by too fast. Taking every moment as a gift cause that's what it is!
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
This Battle
is called the GREAT CONTROVERSY.
Can see it happening on every side.
Decisions for Christ are about to be made and the devil is angry about it.
Our God is stronger. He will gain the victory.
Please pray for us tonight! ....All I have time to write for now.
Can see it happening on every side.
Decisions for Christ are about to be made and the devil is angry about it.
Our God is stronger. He will gain the victory.
Please pray for us tonight! ....All I have time to write for now.
Tuesday, August 14, 2012
I'm in Hungary
This is for real.
I just have to remind myself of that fact once in awhile.
It's better than I could have ever dreamed up.
Just to see the God working is good enough for me.
It's even more of privilege to be able to be apart of this work.
There is an army of youth. It's not limited to any country or continent. Something special, undeniable, perhaps never seen in such force before IS happening. An army is being raised around this world- an army to preach this gospel.
This is for real.
And if you are alive to be reading this post you, yes you, are called to be apart of this work.
Count it a privilege!
Preached on the state of the dead yesterday...was a harder topic for me somehow..
God always, always, always shows me right before the meetings that I am absolutely incapable of presenting truth to make any difference in people's lives. It scares me to death, but I learn to lean on Him, to trust Him to teach.
Last night I started out really rough. But after stumbling through my beginning, I felt God taking over the whole thing, and I believe that the people understood. But the amazing thing was: the first person that came and talked to me at the door said how much she enjoyed the presentations. She said what she liked most about my speaking was that it was not rough, that I didn't stutter, and that it was smooth and clear...
I was shocked. Just to let you know, that was not me last night. I had had the worst time with those specific things.
All I can say is, "Thank You Jesus. Thank You for using a girl like me. Thank You for the privileged of working for souls. And thank You that this is Your work. Thank you that You speak, above all my imperfections, to men's hearts."
I just have to remind myself of that fact once in awhile.
It's better than I could have ever dreamed up.
Just to see the God working is good enough for me.
It's even more of privilege to be able to be apart of this work.
There is an army of youth. It's not limited to any country or continent. Something special, undeniable, perhaps never seen in such force before IS happening. An army is being raised around this world- an army to preach this gospel.
This is for real.
And if you are alive to be reading this post you, yes you, are called to be apart of this work.
Count it a privilege!
Preached on the state of the dead yesterday...was a harder topic for me somehow..
God always, always, always shows me right before the meetings that I am absolutely incapable of presenting truth to make any difference in people's lives. It scares me to death, but I learn to lean on Him, to trust Him to teach.
Last night I started out really rough. But after stumbling through my beginning, I felt God taking over the whole thing, and I believe that the people understood. But the amazing thing was: the first person that came and talked to me at the door said how much she enjoyed the presentations. She said what she liked most about my speaking was that it was not rough, that I didn't stutter, and that it was smooth and clear...
I was shocked. Just to let you know, that was not me last night. I had had the worst time with those specific things.
All I can say is, "Thank You Jesus. Thank You for using a girl like me. Thank You for the privileged of working for souls. And thank You that this is Your work. Thank you that You speak, above all my imperfections, to men's hearts."
Saturday, August 11, 2012
God is Good
So good!
That has been the phrase that ever resounds in my mind. It has tried to make it on at least two other blog posts, but, due to the fullness of this life, they never reached completion.
It is true. God is so good.
I see it again and again.
Understanding comes in moments of desperation- when I realize that God and God alone can teach me what I have strained my brain to get but never completely did. (i.e. 2300 days:)
Trials come. And I am so thankful, oh, so thankful.
This is only because God is good.
He knows my human heart, knows that I must again and again realize my nothingness, knows that I must recognize my utter dependence on Him that any thing be accomplished.
He is faithful.
Despite the fact that I begin each meeting with fear and trembling I see Him work. What a privilege!
I wasn't speaking last night so I was assigned to pray with Eniku during the meeting. All that filled my heart was praise- praise that God would give me this opportunity to be apart of this group of Youth for Jesus, praise that God would allow me to be apart of an amazing work of bringing souls to Him.
Pretty much all the young people at my site were from the same area of Hungary. They all had obligations of work, preparing for school, extra, so they were planning on leaving on Monday. It has been top on my prayer list as I see that these kids are on the verge of making decisions for Christ. Besides that, they are the most awesome group of kids to work with, and their presence would be sooo missed. I've been praying that some kind of miracle happen not specifically that they would stay but that, somehow, God would break through.
The other day their group came together and decided that they really needed to pray about this. They did (all was unbeknown to the rest of us). Next morning, one of them was reading his Bible and found 2 Chronicles 15:7, "Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work shall be rewarded." It was like God was speaking directly to their situation. Their plans were completely changed. Should of heard the cheering when the announcement was made yesterday that they are staying. My heart could not be more thrilled! But this is a test of faith for some of them...we pray that God will provide for their needs as they are faithful to His call.
God IS good.
Our meetings are blessed. I've come to love the people at my site so much. I look forward to seeing them every night. I didn't see them tonight though -went to Christina's site to do special music. The two of us share a very strong sense of loyalty...we're not the kind that like to visit a new site every night:) But I did it tonight. Afterward, I realized that God arranged it for a purpose. We met a neat family that was visiting from a neighboring church. The husband spoke English so we were talking with them. He asked, "you know fountainview?"...we were like, "Of course, we love fountainview". He said, "I was there once -only three weeks, but it was one of the best things that ever happened to me." He started listing a few names that he remembered. Besides the Luchaks I didn't recognize any except "Mr. Ford". He said that he had a boy...and that he lived in the "new red house nearby".
25 years later, on a totally different continent, most random country ever, at a little tiny evangelistic series, this guy was talking to the daughters of Mr. Ford's boy (Yep, that would be my Dad:). So do you remember George?
Spent the afternoon singing in the little seminary room with a few of the other girls, so much fun. Homemade cake, and I mean, homemade from the grinding of the wheat, seems to be a mid-afternoon Sabbath treat. Our cook is awesome. I really like Hungarian food. It's definitely different from the food we have at home, but good stuff!
I start preparing for my next leg of the marathon of meetings tomorrow morning. I'll try and get Christina to keep you updated. I think I will be out of bloggy world again for awhile.
But just know: God is good.
That has been the phrase that ever resounds in my mind. It has tried to make it on at least two other blog posts, but, due to the fullness of this life, they never reached completion.
It is true. God is so good.
I see it again and again.
Understanding comes in moments of desperation- when I realize that God and God alone can teach me what I have strained my brain to get but never completely did. (i.e. 2300 days:)
Trials come. And I am so thankful, oh, so thankful.
This is only because God is good.
He knows my human heart, knows that I must again and again realize my nothingness, knows that I must recognize my utter dependence on Him that any thing be accomplished.
He is faithful.
Despite the fact that I begin each meeting with fear and trembling I see Him work. What a privilege!
I wasn't speaking last night so I was assigned to pray with Eniku during the meeting. All that filled my heart was praise- praise that God would give me this opportunity to be apart of this group of Youth for Jesus, praise that God would allow me to be apart of an amazing work of bringing souls to Him.
Pretty much all the young people at my site were from the same area of Hungary. They all had obligations of work, preparing for school, extra, so they were planning on leaving on Monday. It has been top on my prayer list as I see that these kids are on the verge of making decisions for Christ. Besides that, they are the most awesome group of kids to work with, and their presence would be sooo missed. I've been praying that some kind of miracle happen not specifically that they would stay but that, somehow, God would break through.
The other day their group came together and decided that they really needed to pray about this. They did (all was unbeknown to the rest of us). Next morning, one of them was reading his Bible and found 2 Chronicles 15:7, "Be ye strong therefore, and let not your hands be weak: for your work shall be rewarded." It was like God was speaking directly to their situation. Their plans were completely changed. Should of heard the cheering when the announcement was made yesterday that they are staying. My heart could not be more thrilled! But this is a test of faith for some of them...we pray that God will provide for their needs as they are faithful to His call.
God IS good.
Our meetings are blessed. I've come to love the people at my site so much. I look forward to seeing them every night. I didn't see them tonight though -went to Christina's site to do special music. The two of us share a very strong sense of loyalty...we're not the kind that like to visit a new site every night:) But I did it tonight. Afterward, I realized that God arranged it for a purpose. We met a neat family that was visiting from a neighboring church. The husband spoke English so we were talking with them. He asked, "you know fountainview?"...we were like, "Of course, we love fountainview". He said, "I was there once -only three weeks, but it was one of the best things that ever happened to me." He started listing a few names that he remembered. Besides the Luchaks I didn't recognize any except "Mr. Ford". He said that he had a boy...and that he lived in the "new red house nearby".
25 years later, on a totally different continent, most random country ever, at a little tiny evangelistic series, this guy was talking to the daughters of Mr. Ford's boy (Yep, that would be my Dad:). So do you remember George?
Spent the afternoon singing in the little seminary room with a few of the other girls, so much fun. Homemade cake, and I mean, homemade from the grinding of the wheat, seems to be a mid-afternoon Sabbath treat. Our cook is awesome. I really like Hungarian food. It's definitely different from the food we have at home, but good stuff!
I start preparing for my next leg of the marathon of meetings tomorrow morning. I'll try and get Christina to keep you updated. I think I will be out of bloggy world again for awhile.
But just know: God is good.
Sunday, August 5, 2012
Driven to My Knees
We are gaining a new appreciation for many things in life. I already love the simple, the casual, the spontaneous. And if anyone out there has not figured it out, I love people.
There is no exception in this country.
Most of the conversations that I engage in here are a mixture of broken English and rapid fire Hungarian. We get the general idea of some of the conversations. Many times we don't. But I'm learning to listen...to enjoy what I can't understand and to truly appreciate what I can!
Everyday the other FJK students' English improves. Those that couldn't say anything before are trying out basic conversational phrases. Those who spoke a few words here and there are now engaging in deep conversations. It's amazing. What's also amazing is that this language that has sounded like one continuous string of noise for the past week and a half is now sounding like words. We are even venturing on saying basic phrases ourselves.
Still, we have some challenges in communicating, but we are embracing them.
Sabbath morning. I'm sitting by my new BFF (yes, I have many!). Chella is my co-speaker and just a beautiful, beautiful girl. Her English has improved a hundred percent since I've been here, and she's doing a lot of casual translating for me. It's still a challenge to translate stuff like sabbath school. You have to understand: our church here has a ministry for the blind- absolutely remarkable, but anyway...a blind girl was brought in and set by Chella. She lifted Chella's hand and examined it. All of the sudden, she brightened up and grabbed Chella. She absolutely knew who she was just by feeling her hand! Che-Che turned to me and explained that this girl spoke very good English and that she could interpret for me. She did. Amazing. Translation was incredible. She is one of the most intelligent people that I have ever ever met. Not only did she have great linguistic skills, she already knew the historical examples that were up on the screen. She knew the scientific terms for the the pictures that she couldn't see.
After the services, we had casual conversations about education, extra, but I soon realized this was no casual girl. She has education in political science, journalism, English, history and maybe psychology or sociology. It sounds like she's going on to get a doctrite in a specialized area of communication. Alot of it went over my head! More than her educational achievements, this girl loves and is loved by soo many people. Friendships don't take long to build and they are strong with this girl. I realized as she was translating everything for me that I'm more handicapped than she is. Nothing inhibits her.
This same girl brought her twin sister and her mother hiking with us today. Spent a lot of time with her- "leading" her. But she doesn't really need "leading". She is strong, athletic, and has won metals and awards in marathons. She climbed a tree in front of all our astonished eyes. She has very strong senses. She knows when there is a tree in the way. She knows when I am standing by her. She knows the difference between my hand and everybody elses. She even explained how she can sense the difference between different colors. "Red is very warm. Blue is cold. Yellow and... maybe green are in between." She told us why she and her twin are blind. Born three months early, they spent the beginnings of their lives in an incubator. Other than being extremely premature, they were fine. But the oxegen levels in the incubator were not kept where they were supposed to be - 99%. It was kept at 99.5%. This is what completely changed their futures. They live in darkness but not hopelessness. Andrea only emphasised how grateful she is to be able to have her mental functions undisrupted. Apparently most kids who go through this end up with severe delays. She says, "I don't know what I'd do without my brain."
She told me her story of finding God. Very touching. She was soo excited to learn that I keep a journal of prayers or as she says, "letters to God". She thought she was the only "weird" one. But she shared how it was so encouraging for her for to look back at these entries. She found truth by "reading" the Bible for herself. She realized that the Catholic church was missing truth, and at fifteen years old she quit going to church and worshiped God according to how she found Him in the Bible. These were lonely days for her. She said it was very, very lonely. The local church here, though, reached out to her through their ministry for the blind. Today she is a Seventh-day Adventist. She stands alone. Her family was very upset when they found out that she wanted to be baptized, but she stuck with her commitment.When she asked me about my family and learned that they were Adventist, she was like, "Do you pray together before meals? Do you do activities (think she meant-family worship) together?" Yes, we do. But how can I explain how for so long I took these things for granted? How I, despite all the blessings of growing up in a Christian home, was a rebellious little girl? All I could say was "Yes, we do...but I still had to find Jesus for myself".
Standing alone is what so many of the young people here do.
Their stories are unfolding as they get more confident in their English. There are very few who have a mom and dad who both love Jesus. There are very few that get to go to church with their whole family. But there are many who live in divided families, broken homes. Many who are the only Christians in their families. There are many who stand absolutely ALONE with only God at their side.
I can't even blog the stories.
But know this. If you are one of my friends back home, if you have a family who has loved you, guided you, prayed for you, brought you to church, YOU are blessed beyond measure. Do not, for a moment more take any of it for granted. You have no excuses. Do you love God? Are you willing to stand for Him in the face of rejection or loss? Face it. There are people here who have been given much less yet their faith is beautiful.
One of the students had worship for us the other morning. He step by step shared from a chapter in Isaiah the Love of God. It was awesome. After, he explained how this was what inspired him to share Christ. He said that since he has found the love of God he can't hold it in, and that he must share it with everyone. The words are evident in the way he works for souls. Very blessed to have him and a couple siblings at my site! Praying especially right now for his older brother - here and such a blessing, but has not yet made a commitment for God, only here for about a week more, than heads back to his contracting job. This time is short. Praying for a miracle.
Actually, I find myself driven to my knees more than ever before. There are so many people making eternal decisions right now. I plead that they would be reached. We have a good attendance at our sites so far. Wish I had time to tell you more of the stories, more of the experiences, the challenges, and the victories we have already seen, but I'm really busy just living them. I'm thankful for a small room, though, all to Christina and me. We are blessed to be together...yes, God is working in our lives too. But more than just our late night chats, I'm thankful to have a quiet place to pour out my petitions to God. Ms. Leasa promised us that we would feel an urgency to pray like never before, and it is so true.
If you have read through this blog post, you, perhaps, have too much time on your hands. (Joking.! I'm sure my mom will read this and no, she has no spare time with all the kiddos:) But please, you've had, maybe, a glimpse of the work here. You know there are people here who are deciding whether they will follow God or not. Please take a moment and pray for these souls. You shall meet them very soon.
There is no exception in this country.
Most of the conversations that I engage in here are a mixture of broken English and rapid fire Hungarian. We get the general idea of some of the conversations. Many times we don't. But I'm learning to listen...to enjoy what I can't understand and to truly appreciate what I can!
Everyday the other FJK students' English improves. Those that couldn't say anything before are trying out basic conversational phrases. Those who spoke a few words here and there are now engaging in deep conversations. It's amazing. What's also amazing is that this language that has sounded like one continuous string of noise for the past week and a half is now sounding like words. We are even venturing on saying basic phrases ourselves.
Still, we have some challenges in communicating, but we are embracing them.
Sabbath morning. I'm sitting by my new BFF (yes, I have many!). Chella is my co-speaker and just a beautiful, beautiful girl. Her English has improved a hundred percent since I've been here, and she's doing a lot of casual translating for me. It's still a challenge to translate stuff like sabbath school. You have to understand: our church here has a ministry for the blind- absolutely remarkable, but anyway...a blind girl was brought in and set by Chella. She lifted Chella's hand and examined it. All of the sudden, she brightened up and grabbed Chella. She absolutely knew who she was just by feeling her hand! Che-Che turned to me and explained that this girl spoke very good English and that she could interpret for me. She did. Amazing. Translation was incredible. She is one of the most intelligent people that I have ever ever met. Not only did she have great linguistic skills, she already knew the historical examples that were up on the screen. She knew the scientific terms for the the pictures that she couldn't see.
After the services, we had casual conversations about education, extra, but I soon realized this was no casual girl. She has education in political science, journalism, English, history and maybe psychology or sociology. It sounds like she's going on to get a doctrite in a specialized area of communication. Alot of it went over my head! More than her educational achievements, this girl loves and is loved by soo many people. Friendships don't take long to build and they are strong with this girl. I realized as she was translating everything for me that I'm more handicapped than she is. Nothing inhibits her.
This same girl brought her twin sister and her mother hiking with us today. Spent a lot of time with her- "leading" her. But she doesn't really need "leading". She is strong, athletic, and has won metals and awards in marathons. She climbed a tree in front of all our astonished eyes. She has very strong senses. She knows when there is a tree in the way. She knows when I am standing by her. She knows the difference between my hand and everybody elses. She even explained how she can sense the difference between different colors. "Red is very warm. Blue is cold. Yellow and... maybe green are in between." She told us why she and her twin are blind. Born three months early, they spent the beginnings of their lives in an incubator. Other than being extremely premature, they were fine. But the oxegen levels in the incubator were not kept where they were supposed to be - 99%. It was kept at 99.5%. This is what completely changed their futures. They live in darkness but not hopelessness. Andrea only emphasised how grateful she is to be able to have her mental functions undisrupted. Apparently most kids who go through this end up with severe delays. She says, "I don't know what I'd do without my brain."
She told me her story of finding God. Very touching. She was soo excited to learn that I keep a journal of prayers or as she says, "letters to God". She thought she was the only "weird" one. But she shared how it was so encouraging for her for to look back at these entries. She found truth by "reading" the Bible for herself. She realized that the Catholic church was missing truth, and at fifteen years old she quit going to church and worshiped God according to how she found Him in the Bible. These were lonely days for her. She said it was very, very lonely. The local church here, though, reached out to her through their ministry for the blind. Today she is a Seventh-day Adventist. She stands alone. Her family was very upset when they found out that she wanted to be baptized, but she stuck with her commitment.When she asked me about my family and learned that they were Adventist, she was like, "Do you pray together before meals? Do you do activities (think she meant-family worship) together?" Yes, we do. But how can I explain how for so long I took these things for granted? How I, despite all the blessings of growing up in a Christian home, was a rebellious little girl? All I could say was "Yes, we do...but I still had to find Jesus for myself".
Standing alone is what so many of the young people here do.
Their stories are unfolding as they get more confident in their English. There are very few who have a mom and dad who both love Jesus. There are very few that get to go to church with their whole family. But there are many who live in divided families, broken homes. Many who are the only Christians in their families. There are many who stand absolutely ALONE with only God at their side.
I can't even blog the stories.
But know this. If you are one of my friends back home, if you have a family who has loved you, guided you, prayed for you, brought you to church, YOU are blessed beyond measure. Do not, for a moment more take any of it for granted. You have no excuses. Do you love God? Are you willing to stand for Him in the face of rejection or loss? Face it. There are people here who have been given much less yet their faith is beautiful.
One of the students had worship for us the other morning. He step by step shared from a chapter in Isaiah the Love of God. It was awesome. After, he explained how this was what inspired him to share Christ. He said that since he has found the love of God he can't hold it in, and that he must share it with everyone. The words are evident in the way he works for souls. Very blessed to have him and a couple siblings at my site! Praying especially right now for his older brother - here and such a blessing, but has not yet made a commitment for God, only here for about a week more, than heads back to his contracting job. This time is short. Praying for a miracle.
Actually, I find myself driven to my knees more than ever before. There are so many people making eternal decisions right now. I plead that they would be reached. We have a good attendance at our sites so far. Wish I had time to tell you more of the stories, more of the experiences, the challenges, and the victories we have already seen, but I'm really busy just living them. I'm thankful for a small room, though, all to Christina and me. We are blessed to be together...yes, God is working in our lives too. But more than just our late night chats, I'm thankful to have a quiet place to pour out my petitions to God. Ms. Leasa promised us that we would feel an urgency to pray like never before, and it is so true.
If you have read through this blog post, you, perhaps, have too much time on your hands. (Joking.! I'm sure my mom will read this and no, she has no spare time with all the kiddos:) But please, you've had, maybe, a glimpse of the work here. You know there are people here who are deciding whether they will follow God or not. Please take a moment and pray for these souls. You shall meet them very soon.
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
FJT...
That is the abbreviation for Youth for Jesus (hint: this is Hungary).
Busy, busy...
Ever since all the kids arrived.
Sermons
Classes
Dishes
Cooking
Worships
Outreach
We're starting to get into a routine though.
Making friends with a bit of a language barrier can be a challenge. It takes effort. At supper last night, we decided the Americans could not sit together. The other kids couldn't understand it. They were all moving over to make spots where we could be together:) That's what I mean when I say sweet...very thoughtful and everything. We finally got through to them that we were trying to break a habit. They accepted.
Our conversations, our jokes, our laughter is over the simple stuff.
The food processor is will forever be the food professor.
People here have a last name and a Christian name....(until you find out that was a miss translation). They have a completely normal first and last name.
Hungarian kitties don't understand Hungarian "t-t-t-t-t" . You see, cats speak English because they come when we say, "Here kitty-kitty-kitty".
Only understood if you were here. But these are the beginnings of friendships that I pray will last for eternity. Never want to forget these beginnings.
Culture-wise. At first glance, everything seems to be fairly close to US culture. But there are alot of really neat things in this culture that are different than we've know.
I thought I was getting well trained every time we'd pray to stand up, but Charissa had to jab me this morning to remind me get on my feet.
Song services here are lovely. The girls have very beautiful, true voices, but only one other pianist. Christina and I play alot. We've had to adapt our tempos. Music here is pretty classic. They were a bit overwhelmed with all the instruments too. We are doing more with just one or two instruments. The voices here are the important part.
Food is scrumptious. Hopefully, I can learn to replicate some of the Hungarian dishes to try at home. There's no food lines here. We set the tables for all of the people -glass dishes, everything. Washing station is outside the eating tent and everyone does their own dishes. Actually most people do their own dishes ++. Work ethic here is impressive. These kids are not slackers at all. It's so fun to work with them. It's easy to sense a real spirit of service and a willingness to go the extra mile to help out.
Miss Leasa's classes have been excellent. She has challenged everyone to either start or deepen their devotional life. That is the theme for this month, but it is a new challenge for many of these kids. It makes it all the more beautiful to see them, Bible in hand, going out to find a quiet place with God in the morning.
Talked to my other me yesterday- actually my sister. I'm inspired by the testimonies. God is at work in His army of youth. There is no denying it. We are going home soon. Please pray for us here in Hungary. God has plans for FJK. I believe it!
Busy, busy...
Ever since all the kids arrived.
Sermons
Classes
Dishes
Cooking
Worships
Outreach
We're starting to get into a routine though.
Making friends with a bit of a language barrier can be a challenge. It takes effort. At supper last night, we decided the Americans could not sit together. The other kids couldn't understand it. They were all moving over to make spots where we could be together:) That's what I mean when I say sweet...very thoughtful and everything. We finally got through to them that we were trying to break a habit. They accepted.
Our conversations, our jokes, our laughter is over the simple stuff.
The food processor is will forever be the food professor.
People here have a last name and a Christian name....(until you find out that was a miss translation). They have a completely normal first and last name.
Hungarian kitties don't understand Hungarian "t-t-t-t-t" . You see, cats speak English because they come when we say, "Here kitty-kitty-kitty".
Only understood if you were here. But these are the beginnings of friendships that I pray will last for eternity. Never want to forget these beginnings.
Culture-wise. At first glance, everything seems to be fairly close to US culture. But there are alot of really neat things in this culture that are different than we've know.
I thought I was getting well trained every time we'd pray to stand up, but Charissa had to jab me this morning to remind me get on my feet.
Song services here are lovely. The girls have very beautiful, true voices, but only one other pianist. Christina and I play alot. We've had to adapt our tempos. Music here is pretty classic. They were a bit overwhelmed with all the instruments too. We are doing more with just one or two instruments. The voices here are the important part.
Food is scrumptious. Hopefully, I can learn to replicate some of the Hungarian dishes to try at home. There's no food lines here. We set the tables for all of the people -glass dishes, everything. Washing station is outside the eating tent and everyone does their own dishes. Actually most people do their own dishes ++. Work ethic here is impressive. These kids are not slackers at all. It's so fun to work with them. It's easy to sense a real spirit of service and a willingness to go the extra mile to help out.
Miss Leasa's classes have been excellent. She has challenged everyone to either start or deepen their devotional life. That is the theme for this month, but it is a new challenge for many of these kids. It makes it all the more beautiful to see them, Bible in hand, going out to find a quiet place with God in the morning.
Talked to my other me yesterday- actually my sister. I'm inspired by the testimonies. God is at work in His army of youth. There is no denying it. We are going home soon. Please pray for us here in Hungary. God has plans for FJK. I believe it!
Sunday, July 29, 2012
Can't explain
Life the last few days has been the kind that a blog post just can't describe.
It's so full.
How can I describe the learning process, the joy, the spirit of our "preaching sessions" as Goosey girls and I rotate, critique, and pray with each other up in our little chapel room?
How can I tell you what it was like tour this ancient city in Hungary, show you with words what we've seen (no, I'm not a photographer!) , replay the experiences, mimic the spontaneous?
Started at Ambrus' house 10am on Friday.
Eniku was guide. This girl maneuvered us past guards, on trains, buses, around the city, here and there, to lunch, back home. Unbelievable- not a glitch. Absolutely enjoyable!
Saw:
Statues.
Basilica.
Synagogue.
Castle.
Soldiers.
Ruins.
Memorial tree with engraved names in the silver leaves of thousands lives taken in the Holicost.
Cemetery.
This place is rich with history.
But it was more than just seeing these places, and that's what I'm having trouble writing in words.
Heat
Laughter
Crammed busses
Sweat (I'm pretty sure I'm too young for hot flashes but I am almost convinced I'm having them at times)
Friends
Just sharing the moments
Yesterday, we split up for two churches. Christina and I went with Joshua and Andras to the site that I'll be preaching at. We were attacked with kisses at the door. Took me a minute to figure out what to do...love these people though.
Ms. Leasa and Eniku try to warn us in stories about this kind of stuff -very much appreciated. But we still have to figure it out for ourselves.
Joshua's message -excellent.
Potluck-good...but I'm pretty sure that they literally wanted the four of us to finish ALL the food on the table. We had to explain again and again that we were FULL and couldn't eat anymore.
Church here is an all day thing. After potluck they have another service. We asked them to combine afternoon services, so we had music, testimonies, and GYC and YFJ reports.
Blessed.
These are the hours treasured in our hearts. Beautiful. Unforgettable. Yet I can't explain them.
Sitting on the floor at the lovely Ambrus home. Being family. Sharing stories.
Until that chapter of our Hungary trip was closed.
Nebblets and Alonna took the train back home.
YFJ kids arrive today.
Only wish I could transport myself to help my mom, give her a break for a little bit....don't like being so far away I can't do anything. She's the so strong, so brave, so amazing. Love you, Mom. Thanks for all you're doing right now.
It's so full.
How can I describe the learning process, the joy, the spirit of our "preaching sessions" as Goosey girls and I rotate, critique, and pray with each other up in our little chapel room?
How can I tell you what it was like tour this ancient city in Hungary, show you with words what we've seen (no, I'm not a photographer!) , replay the experiences, mimic the spontaneous?
Started at Ambrus' house 10am on Friday.
Eniku was guide. This girl maneuvered us past guards, on trains, buses, around the city, here and there, to lunch, back home. Unbelievable- not a glitch. Absolutely enjoyable!
Saw:
Statues.
Basilica.
Synagogue.
Castle.
Soldiers.
Ruins.
Memorial tree with engraved names in the silver leaves of thousands lives taken in the Holicost.
Cemetery.
This place is rich with history.
But it was more than just seeing these places, and that's what I'm having trouble writing in words.
Heat
Laughter
Crammed busses
Sweat (I'm pretty sure I'm too young for hot flashes but I am almost convinced I'm having them at times)
Friends
Just sharing the moments
Yesterday, we split up for two churches. Christina and I went with Joshua and Andras to the site that I'll be preaching at. We were attacked with kisses at the door. Took me a minute to figure out what to do...love these people though.
Ms. Leasa and Eniku try to warn us in stories about this kind of stuff -very much appreciated. But we still have to figure it out for ourselves.
Joshua's message -excellent.
Potluck-good...but I'm pretty sure that they literally wanted the four of us to finish ALL the food on the table. We had to explain again and again that we were FULL and couldn't eat anymore.
Church here is an all day thing. After potluck they have another service. We asked them to combine afternoon services, so we had music, testimonies, and GYC and YFJ reports.
Blessed.
These are the hours treasured in our hearts. Beautiful. Unforgettable. Yet I can't explain them.
Sitting on the floor at the lovely Ambrus home. Being family. Sharing stories.
Until that chapter of our Hungary trip was closed.
Nebblets and Alonna took the train back home.
YFJ kids arrive today.
Only wish I could transport myself to help my mom, give her a break for a little bit....don't like being so far away I can't do anything. She's the so strong, so brave, so amazing. Love you, Mom. Thanks for all you're doing right now.
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
We're here!
Hungary. Beautiful. GREEN. Damp. Moist. Warm.
We are staying at the Adventist Seminary. It's small. It's quiet. And there's LOTS of room to run.
I ran and ran around and around the property this morning. Just wish my sister and running buddy was here. Miss her soooo much! But Stina~bee and I are having a blast with the Goosey girls and Ms. Leasa. We're just sitting around listening to Ms. Leasa's old YFJ stories this morning.
Rest and quiet is a blessed thing after yesterday.
Left at 7am. Got to the airport and our gate just in time. Only a half hour flight. Really wondered why we did this.!
The GPS said 11:45 for arrival time in Budapest for Leasa. That was when we left the car.
Things, of course, are always different than we foresee. We had discussed where we would meet at the airport. But apparently, airports are not all the same. Weren't sure where to go...eventually found this stairway outside that reached from departure to arrival. Christina stood at one end and I stood at the other watching for the gray little car that we left in Vienna. Funny thing is: over half the cars here are little and gray.!
Hours.
Waiting.
Cell phone doesn't work. No internet available.
People are kind of interesting- come and stand right in front of someone's face and smoke- somehow normal?! I move down the stairs a couple steps and then someone else moves over right in front of me again. I try another spot and someone comes and stands right beside me. Give up!
I literally had the idea as a little kid that if I ever smelled anyone's cigarettes I would have these disgustingly black lungs and probably die. I took the Janice attic lessons very seriously:)
Hopefully, such will not be my fate.
By about 4:30 we were climbing into the car.
Poor Ms. Leasa had some major trials. Thankfully she realized that it was a diesel-only car before she started the engine. But what a rollercoster ride to get the gas out.
Now we're here and we're happy!
Every step of the way we learn lessons of trust.
Our confidence is God. No problems, no surprises can overcome us as long as we know that He is in control.
Every difficulty is an opportunity for character improvement. Let's not forget it!
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