I wish I were more fluent in English. (No, I don't know any other language. Yes, I'm in a dilemma).
I love writing.
I hate (okay, strongly dislike) sitting and deleting and inching my way through phrases and then reading back and realizing the nothingness in it all.
Of course, I'm pretty sure that this is a sure symptom of lack of exercise in this area.
But I blame it on a little question that has nagged my brain for awhile:
What are words? Is there value in them? Or are actions the only thing that really counts?
Then I remember that both my words and actions are pretty rotten and worthless when it's all summed up. Only thing that can count for me is a Jesus who is working with me. His story revealed is the only thing that matters. And His story, in some way, includes me. Wow! Yes?! It's true.
I'm love, love, loving my classes right now...getting closer to the real nursing thing:) And this one object lesson, from sitting in hours of lecture of what it means to be a nurse, I draw. Doctor: He does a big job. His life is summed up in late nights, early mornings, working to diagnose, treat, operate on patients. Nurse: She works hard. She gets dirty. She's on her feet all day caring for and saving the life of the patient. Patient: Totally dependent. Sick. Needy. Recipient of Grace. The patient (at least in most critical care situations) cannot DO anything to help himself. BUT. The patient is the key player in the story of the doctor and the nurse. Whether he lives or dies will impact their story, and that, whether he likes it or not.
A no-brainer? sure. But sometimes it takes those for me. Because we are the ones He is redeeming, our story is apart of His. Does our testimony count? it must.
Not to share it would be shame.
Though I have learned that God cares more about what's really happening inside my heart than in what I say, I've also realized that He has gifted us to think in words.
And though He gave that ultimate sacrifice of all heaven and life itself in action, He told us the story in words. Does God think in words? I don't know. What I do know is that He decided to put His thoughts in words for me. That is a gift.
Deliberation is enough. Aftermath of GYC - heart-searching, reading, thinking, and praying- and a multitude of Goals and New Year's Resolutions swirling in my head are resolving.
This year (January isn't over=), I seek to love a gift, to search a gift, to hide a gift, and share a gift- God's heart, His thought in His written Word. AND. Write the part of the story that is unwritten yet...His work: REDEMPTION working in me.
"Words are more than an indication of character; they have power to react on the character. Men are influenced by their own words." DA 323
