Today We Celebrate...

A Life...

that has filled our hearts with so much love and laughter.

Again. and. Again.

Today we also remember one year ago when we were sitting around the supper table and Dad called on his way home from work and Mom said, "Life is going to change." 

We had no idea what "change" really meant, but one year later,  we'd  never turn back, never turn back...

From a baby boy, no two baby boys who we love as our own.

From a beautiful family reunited.

From tears of joy and sorrow shared together.

From friendship built forever.

From the opportunity to be apart of God's beautiful work of restoration. 

From when God, again, redefined "family" for us.

Family = the gift of people that God places in your closest circle of life. 

This month, we also celebrate two more birthdays of certain kiddos, and it was this month, three years ago, when God placed them in our hearts. 

 I'm privileged to be "big sister". 

Being apart of this family is a gift, such a gift, to me.

Words.

 I wish I were more fluent in English. (No, I don't know any other language. Yes, I'm in a dilemma).

I love writing.

I hate (okay, strongly dislike) sitting and deleting and inching my way through phrases and then reading back and realizing the nothingness in it all. 

Of course, I'm pretty sure that this is a sure symptom of lack of exercise in this area.

But I blame it on a little question that has nagged my brain for awhile:

What are words? Is there value in them? Or are actions the only thing that really counts?

Then I remember that both my words and actions are pretty rotten and worthless when it's all summed up. Only thing that can count for me is a Jesus who is working with me. His story revealed is the only thing that matters. And His story, in some way, includes me. Wow! Yes?! It's true.

I'm love, love, loving my classes right now...getting closer to the real nursing thing:) And this one object lesson, from sitting in hours of lecture of what it means to be a nurse, I draw. Doctor: He does a big job. His life is summed up in late nights, early mornings, working to diagnose, treat, operate on patients. Nurse: She works hard. She gets dirty. She's on her feet all day caring for and saving the life of the patient. Patient: Totally dependent. Sick. Needy. Recipient of Grace. The patient (at least in most critical care situations) cannot DO anything to help himself. BUT. The patient is the key player in the story of the doctor and the nurse. Whether he lives or dies will impact their story, and that, whether he likes it or not.

A no-brainer? sure. But sometimes it takes those for me.  Because we are the ones He is redeeming, our story is apart of His. Does our testimony count? it must.

Not to share it would be shame. 

Though I have learned that God cares more about what's really happening inside my heart than in what I say, I've also realized that He has gifted us to think in words.

And though He gave that ultimate sacrifice of all heaven and life itself in action, He told us the story in words. Does God think in words? I don't know. What I do know is that He decided to put His thoughts in words for me. That is a gift.

Deliberation is enough. Aftermath of GYC - heart-searching, reading, thinking, and praying- and a multitude of Goals and New Year's Resolutions swirling in my head are resolving.

This year (January isn't over=), I seek to love a gift, to search a gift, to hide a gift, and share a gift- God's heart, His thought in His written Word. AND. Write the part of the story that is unwritten yet...His work: REDEMPTION working in me.

"Words are more than an indication of character; they have power to react on the character. Men are influenced by their own words." DA 323

What Do You See?

There's not too much down time in my life right now...was there ever? My sisters will never let me forget a segment of one of our family videos when I was about five. I was kneading bread for my business that I had back then while reciting all the things on my very "grown up" to do list. There was the bread to be delivered to my costomers and then amongst a couple other things there was my scrapbook. My scrapbook?!

 Oh that the pressing things of life were still that simple:)

But I wanted to write a few things I have been thinking about due to some of what I've read as of late and also some of what life's experiences has been teaching me.

------------

Trails and afflictions are the lot of ALL. Everybody has them. The way in which they show up is different, and perhaps, even the heat of the furnace has varying degrees for everyone.

Most of my trials originated with mySELF. Pride, selfishness, guilt...yes, I've had  my fair share...and it's brought with it, it's heartache. BUT. It makes grace that much more beautiful to me. Grace that can overcome a child's hardened heart. Grace that can transform, change, renew. That's a grace I love.

 I know mirriads of people, though, going through pain right now, and I'd never say that's so simply their fault. It's not. Suffering is a result of a sinful world. There's no other way to say it.

For some the fire embitters. For others it shines, it purifies, it sparkles.

I've written about my grandma before... but as I've grown I really have come to appreciate her for way more than just being my traditional hug me, love me, give me "wet ones" kind of grandma.

If anyone has gone through trials, she has.

When she was a young girl, her father came to America from England and was preparing to move his family over there. Grandma still talks about that day when she waved good-bye to him all those years ago. She never saw him again. He died of a stroke or brain tumor shortly after he left.

Being one of many children, she knew what poverty meant. Life was not easy for her widowed mother.

Grandma and Grandpa lived in England during WWII. Later they married in Africa and experienced war there, also. They knew danger. They knew hardship. Eventually, they had to escape the country to go back to England with their first child.

Grandma was a nurse. (Nope, I'm not just following in my daddy's shoes:) She worked long nights while raising her five children.

Later, she faced fierce stresses at home because of her love for Bible truth.

She fought cancer, had strokes, been run over by cars...how she's survived all of it...that's partly attributed to her stubbornness but more than that it's faith.

With 90 years (next month) of facing the battles of this life, you could expect discouragement, scars of hurt, something to be there. BUT there isn't.

There's joy.

Grandma will tell the stories.

And if you've ever had the privilege to hear them, you have heard her say: "The Lord always provided for us", "The Lord is good", "He always takes care of His children..." .

For Grandma, the difficult things in life were just an opportunity to prove the faithfulness of the God. She won't ever recount anything of life without praising Him. Why? Because He's the one who has carried her through.

When you review your past, if you're like anyone else that I've met, you've had trials. Maybe you are going through the most severe ones right now.

When I look back, what do I see? Do I see the beauty of grace in every trial? And when it's been 90 instead of 19 years, will I still see His faithfulness?

"Thank You, Jesus..."

Has been the title sitting in my draft box for almost a week.

Has been the prayer whispered again and again.

I'm home. Hungary, one of the most incredible, unforgettable experiences of my life, is over. Even as our plane landed in *Sea-t*c, my heart, though crying to have to say good-bye,  whispered thankfulness.

Thank you, Jesus for teaching me through pleading, through tossing from bed to floor, through open computer and shut eyes, through laughter and silence, through burdens shared without words, through prayers that only God could understand, and tears of joy in victory gained.

 Time and time again when I recognized those victories, I fell to my knees recommitting my life. "Lord, wherever, however, whatever the battle is that I'm called to fight, I'm willing. Just let my every-breath be for souls won to Jesus."

But victory does not come without a fight...and some are lonelier, harder, and perhaps more terrible (yes, I know that not every post of duty is like FJT). It's okay.

Victory is beautiful.

-----

Sabbath Evening.

 If you could stand with me by an above-ground, 4 ft tall tank on the seminary grounds in Pecel, you would understand- something of my joy. If you could see the souls, for whom you prayed late and early, leaving their old lives and starting new, if you could see your friends slip out of the choir and walk up close to take their stand, if you could hear the whisper, "Two more visitors from Ujpest, Vanessa, two more", you would know my joy- right now.

All I can say is, "Thank you, Jesus".

Somehow, joy is indescribable. 

------

Sabbath Night.

Visitors are driven back home. It's somewhat quiet at the seminary, our Hungarian home. There's only the FJT team left. Good-byes have to be said...staying up all night is a voted for alternative.

But there's one more story that has to be completely unwound. I've not been sure if we should go there, but they should know, and really, I should say something. (I'm really bad at saying the right thing as far as "congratulations"...I mean, what do you say?)

I have one more good-bye to say(1st round:). 

Me: "I'm not very good at saying what I want to say..." (Yea, that's why I just finished a evangelistic series!).

Richi: "Me neither- and then in English...."

Me: "But I want to say..."

Richi: "Just a second. translator?"

It's me, my sister, Richi*, Jenni*, Kamill*, their mom, and other dear friends. We laugh, share, realize that this has been God's working for all of us together.

Me: "We were praying for you since the beginning -praying that you would make decisions for Jesus. While you Mako* kids were meeting in your little prayer group (unbeknown to us until part-way through), we were praying in our room- Goosey girls and Ford girls together -pleading that you would stay-- just long enough to make a commitment, asking that you would give your lives to Christ."

Ms. Roszica: "At the same time, I was praying too- on the other side of the house".

Me: "When I found out that you were staying...you have no idea how I flew into the sermon-prep room where Goosey girls were finishing their sermons. I knew God had a purpose. We continued to plead for you, and you can't imagine what it was watching every step and every decision that you made- when you checked the card, when you said 'near future', I was was thankful, so thankful, but I prayed that we could be here."

Jenni: "I didn't know that you were doing that!"

Me: "GOD IS SO GOOD!"

Ms. Rosica: "Continue to pray for the rest of the kids in Mako* who haven't..."

I know. There are eight more out of eleven beautiful siblings plus wives, most of which witnessed the day. And there's a mother's heart longing for them to find home.

---------

And I do. I pray. And not just for them.

-------

I lay in bed and wish for sleep. The jet-lag always sets in on return trip.

I think of the young people in Hungary- young people standing in a very different world than mine, a world with different challenges, a world where so many stand so alone.

Now, mingled with my thanks is a continued plea- a plea that they would stand and be faithful. This work is not over...

I look through pictures. I remember blessings. I remember joy. I remember friends and good times.  But I remember most of all, the faithfulness of my God. 

--------

Sunday morning 4 AM

We hug good-bye to sleepy-eyed, but sweet, sweet friends one more time. I tumble over the back seat and squeeze my hand through the crack of the van window. Good-bye Hungary. Good-bye FJT.

This experience is never to be forgotten!

About the Driving

Just an add on or maybe a rebuttal....to my sister's news feed:)

No one died. It was fine. It was fun. I had a great driver sitting next to me. Seriously, I've been driving automatic for 3+ yrs. Well maybe that's laughable to most of you who have been driving for who knows how long. But really, I sort of get the hang of the driving thing. Just had an itch to drive- missed it the last month (me seriously miss driving?!) But anyway, no automatics here.

So yep, I've added it to my resume of new skills aquired in Hungary.

1. Ping-pong
2. Meta
3. Semi
4. manual driving

Just for the record:)

Sad this time is coming to a close, but my sister at home is already counting the hours. Miss everyone there.

But Stina-bee and I have brothers and sisters here that we can never forget. Brothers and sisters that will always have a place in hearts. Brothers and sisters that we hope to, no, we must meet in our Father's house.

It's a Gift...

 for me to be here.

It was at the very beginning. Today, it's a double gift.

One that I would never dare ask for...but really the fact that I'm here today is the best birthday/Christmas/(any other reason to get a gift) present ever!!!!!!!!!!

And I'm thankful- so thankful to be here to witness the decisions being made even now.

Today, one of the people who has been near top of my prayer list decided that this Sabbath was his day to make that public commitment to Christ in baptism. It is so amazing to have a little part in people's decisions to give their lives to God. It's so amazing to see your prayers for souls being answered. It's so amazing to watch God work in ways you couldn't orchestrate.

Sabbath was a full day. I had the presentation on Spirit of Prophecy in the evening. I only found out I was doing the presentation a couple days before, so I was once again working at every possible min. to pull the thing together. Finally during church on Sabbath morning, I finished putting my outline together. There was six baptisms in the afternoon- one of those experiences I will never forget. But it took ALL afternoon. So with 15 min battery power and 20 min to the site, I finished putting my slides together. Told the girls at my site, "God is going to have to preach this sermon".

It's crazy how completely helpless I feel to be able to present truth clearly so that people can understand. God is so faithful to show me what my abilities and anything else I think I might have are in their true light. I know I've said it before. But it's so true. It's only God- only God who can do anything here that will make any difference.

God did preach the sermon and somehow He let me be apart of it. You can't imagine how much I've been blessed through this series, how much I've been learning, how much I've grown. This is why God gives us the awesome privilege to be co-workers with Him in this work. He knows that WE, that I need it.

After I get done preaching I feel like I've run a marathon. Esp. Sabbath night I was completely drained. As soon as I finished preaching I could hardly think, remember where I put stuff, remember that there was NOT going to be mtgs the next few days ect.  I was soo hungry. You get the picture:) But I realized so strongly that God had given me clearness of thought, energy, everything I need until the message was over. It was a miracle! There was only one instance where I had a brain "switch off" during the meeting. That was when I couldn't figure out where Amos was:) I'm the kind of person that has to sing through the alphabet to figure out where letters go (you know what I mean:). Unfortunately I'm like that with some of the books of the Bible too. So I was saying in my head, "Amos, Nehemiah, Esther, Job..." Anyway, I eventually got it together.

Where I am deficient God is ALL sufficient.

Keep praying for our visitors. Many of them are struggling with different things...

Yesterday, we had a lovely off day. We went up into the mountains and did some hiking (right up my alley:). It just makes me feel so at home, and you can't help but have fun with these kids. The great thing is that not only the FJK kids but also the church members and visitors come on the outings. After, we played Meta- a game that I think is similar to base ball but different and really enjoyable for everyone (including me- now that's somethin'!) Actually, I'm acquiring a couple new skills here...one is table-tennis. Me hit a ball... ever? But I actually really like playing around the world table-tennis, and I'm not the only bad player who likes to play.

Today is a national holiday. We will be climbing a mountain tonight to watch the fireworks.

And...Ms. Leasa is arriving in two hours! Everyone's excited. 

Four more meetings to go. One more presentation for me. Time is ticking by too fast. Taking every moment as a gift cause that's what it is!

This Battle

is called the GREAT CONTROVERSY.

Can see it happening on every side.

Decisions for Christ are about to be made and the devil is angry about it.

Our God is stronger. He will gain the victory.

Please pray for us tonight! ....All I have time to write for now.